


Refusal

by the-nug-king (eloralouistra)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Kink Negotiation, Rape Fantasy, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 10:59:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8575693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloralouistra/pseuds/the-nug-king
Summary: Estella Trevelyan has a flashback to her time in the Circle and turns to her lover Iron Bull to help her work through the emotions it brings out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My Trevelyan was a mage in Kirkwall, and was Tranquil before getting her connection to the Fade back at the start of Inquisition. I wrote this after she reacted badly to the banter between Cole and Cassandra that comes up in the first scene.
> 
> Warnings for: rape flashback, rape play, rough sex, verbal humiliation/slurs

“What the templars did to you, to the real Cole…” Cassandra says, when the party is on the way back to Skyhold one day. Estella sighs pointedly. She’s told Cassandra of templar abuse a hundred times, but still Cassandra hangs onto the notion of templars as protectors. Apparently, she’s hoping the White Spire was free of all the atrocities in the Gallows. “I knew the treatment was harsh, but…”

“Yes,” Cole tells her, staring into the distance as memories of the White Spire, of himself and others, come back to him. “Beatings, worse. _"Do you remember telling me no? You can't do that now. The Tranquil don't say no to anything."_ ”

Estella freezes, Cole’s words washing over her, words like she’s heard before, too many times, words like Alrik at the start, that first time. “Isn’t this better?” he’d cooed, hand stroking the brand he’s burnt onto her forehead, before shifting and forcing her deeper down onto his cock, making her gag. “Isn’t it easier when you don’t fight me?” She didn’t reply. Even if she could speak with her mouth so full of him, words weren’t required, only obedience. Obedience then and every time after, never saying no, not as Alrik spilled himself down her throat, commanded she swallow, that she thank him for his seed, that she be here again tomorrow-

“Estella? Estella!”

She opens her eyes, gasping, finding herself curled on the ground, her companions bending over her, watching in concern.

“It wasn’t your hurt,” Cole says, as she takes several shuddering breaths, “But it made yours come back. I didn’t know it would. I’m sorry.”

She still can’t bring herself to speak, but she manages a weak smile. Cole isn’t the one who hurt her, and she doesn’t need words to let him know.

She can’t help but cringe away from Cassandra’s offered hand, eyes on the Seeker symbol emblazoned on the almost-templar’s chest, lets Sera pull her up instead.

“Any of those pissfuckers who hurt you turn up again, we’ll hurt them back. Promise,” Sera tells her fiercely.

Estella nods, and tries to ignore the memories flooding her mind, all the way back to Skyhold.

*

Estella stares at herself in the mirror, tracing the sunbeam brand on her forehead, the eternal reminder of those six years. She feels numb, and simultaneously feels everything, disgust and anger and horror and shame and a strange manic joy at feeling any of it, the pressure of her finger on her forehead feeling more real than it ever did before. Cole’s words repeating over and over and over in her head. _The Tranquil don't say no to anything._ Everything mixed together and all too much after being gone so long.

There’s a soft knock on her door and a gentle, rumbling voice. “Kadan?”

“Come in,” her voice sounds almost steady.

“Want me to hold you?” Bull asks, and when she nods he wraps his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “Cassandra told me you had another shit memory come up out in the field today. Anything I can do to help?”

“Yes.” Estella’s thoughts feel disconnected, she furrows her brow trying to pull them together, make sense of what she needs. “I need it to be real. It’s like it wasn’t real, it’s like I let them and I was okay with it and I never-” She closes her eyes, breathing in deeply, Bull’s presence calming the edge of everything. “I need you to hurt me. Force me. Make me fight it. I need to be able to fight it.”

He turns her around to face him, cupping her chin in his hand. “You sure, Kadan?”

She nods. “I need it right now. I’m angry and I could never be angry with them and I needed it.”

“Anything you want me to do, or not do?”

“Be rough with me? I want pain today.” She pulls off her coat, dropping it over her desk, before cuddling back into Bull’s arms. “I think tearing some of my clothes would help? Insults are fine, as long as they’re not mage insults. Don’t gag me. Don’t tie me up too much to struggle. And I’d like to fight back, and maybe use a little bit of magic, if that’s all right?”

“So long as it’s not the shit you use when you’re really fighting templars, I’m fine. But you may need to put up a muffling spell for this.”

She nods, concentrates for a moment, letting her spell work along the walls and floor of her room. “Done.”

“Know what to do if it gets too much, or you change your mind?”

“Say katoh.”

“Good. You ready to start?”

“Please.”

Bull nods and his demeanour suddenly shifts, his face growing hard and his grip on her chin tightening roughly as he yanks her up into a bruising kiss.

Estella snarls against his mouth, trying to pull back, but his arms crush her against him. She aims kicks and punches at him and he laughs. “Gonna have to try harder than that to stop me getting what I want,” he tells her, a cruel smirk on his lips.

“ _No._ ” The word seems to flow through her whole body, filling her with strength and confidence. “No!” she screams louder, static electricity building in her fingers.

“Enough of that,” he growls, slapping her face. “How about I teach you some respect?”

She spits at his face. “Fuck you.”

Bull laughs again, unconcerned. “Oh yeah. That’s gonna happen.” He wipes the spit from his face and smears it on her own face, and she uses that movement to twist out from under his other arm, sending a jolt of lightning through him as she goes, and runs. She only makes it a few steps away before he grabs the collar of her shirt, yanking her back. “Don’t know why you’re still bothering trying to get away from me.” One hand is fisted around her collar, almost tight enough to choke her, while the other presses against her front, cupping her breast. “We both know you can’t.”

Her heart is pounding and she feels the same kind of thrill she can only get from sex with Bull, or fighting dragons. “All I know is that you’re going to _die_ soon.”

He pinches her nipple. “Like you’d even have the energy after I’m through with you.”

“No! Don’t! Don’t you fucking _dare!_ ”

“Yeah, done with talking now. Time to show the goods.” She’s picked up and tossed onto the bed like she weighs nothing. Bull’s on her before she can scramble away, gathering both her wrists in one hand as he kneels above her, rips her shirt down the middle, followed by her breast band, and she’s screaming, screaming for him to stop, screaming just because she can. He ignores her, pulling off the tattered remains and leaning in to examine her breasts hungrily. Coarse fingers scrape over her, digging into soft flesh. “Pretty little thing, aren’t you? These are some great tits you’ve been hiding from me.” He flicks at a nipple, smirks to see it hardening. “You getting excited for me, sweetheart?”

It’s hard to struggle with his weight bearing down on her, but she doesn’t stop trying, glares at him with all the vehemence she can muster. “No. _Never_.”

He moves to the other nipple and twists it, and she yells with pain. “These disagree.” He bends down suddenly and takes her unattended nipple into his mouth, sucks hard enough to leave a bruise and then bites down, hard. Pain floods Estella’s chest, almost too much, but so, _so_ good, and she’s hoarse with screaming but doesn’t want to stop. And then he’s moved away from her breasts and he’s let go of her wrists to pull down her breaches and she’s punching at him again, trying to wriggle away, screaming abuse, soaking her smalls in anticipation.

He retrieves the remains of her shirt and uses it to sloppily tie her hands together above her head, so he can concentrate on spreading her legs. The binding will be easy enough for her to break free in time, and they both know it, but for now Estella delights in struggling in them. She yells at him to stop again as he tears away her smalls, holds her legs apart, exposing her to him.

“Look how wet you are, slut,” he tells her, running a finger over her folds and bringing it up for her to see. “You love this, don’t you?”

“ _No_ ,” she growls.

“How about you stop lying to me, or I’ll make this harder on you.” He shoves his finger inside her roughly and she cries out at the intrusion. “Wouldn’t want to see your tiny human cunt try to take my cock without any preparation.”

It’s an empty threat, Estella knows, however rough Bull is, it wouldn’t be safe to push a Qunari cock into her before she was ready. A small part of her loves the idea anyway, fantasizes about being split open, her whole body on fire with the pain.

Bull pumps his finger in and out of her, his thumb moving up to rub her clit, making her mewl around him. “Yeah, that’s right, you get good and wet for me, you’re gonna need it.” He slides another finger in beside the first, spreads her out, grinds down on her clit and it feels so good.

“Stop it!” she yells at him, struggling again, loving the way her body rubs on his hand as she moves. “No, please, stop!”

“That eager to get on with the main event are you, slut?” He adds a third finger and it’s almost too much. “Just give me one more minute.” His other hand pulls off his belt as his fingers move inside her, and slides it over her body, bringing back wonderful memories of times it’s beaten into her flesh. One of her favourite games, if not what she needs today. He pulls his hand out of her, sticky with her juices, to remove his breeches and smalls, revealing his erection and no matter how many times she’s done this, Estella always feels a lurch of nervous excitement at his size, a wonder of how he can possibly fit inside her. He rubs himself against her, growling. “Ready, slut?”

“No!” she screams and the breath leaves her body as he enters her, fast and hard, a mix of pain and pleasure. “No!”

Bull pushes in and out of her at a brutal pace, holding her down as she struggles beneath him, grunting with every thrust. She thrashes and yells, succeeds in getting her hands free from her shirt, hits him, scratches and claws at his skin, only makes him laugh. The pressure’s building inside of her and she struggles too to hold back her orgasm, determined to make him force everything from her. Screams again and again. “No, no, _no!_ ”

Iron Bull roars, exploding inside of her and it’s the last straw, she clenches around him, unable to resist any longer. “ _No!_ ” And it’s over.

There’s tears in her eyes as Bull pulls out, gentle now, turns them around so she’s sitting in his lap. “You okay, Kadan?”

She burrows into his chest, exhausted and sore, but a feeling of peace and comfort setting over her. “Yes. Thank you for that.”

He lays a soft kiss on her brow and begins to stroke her hair. “Any time.” He gently runs a finger over a bruise on her wrist. “Need to heal yourself?”

Estella shakes her head. “Not yet. I’d like to keep them a bit longer. Are you okay?”

“Hey, you know it takes more than that to hurt me. Want a blanket? Or I can get you some clothes?”

“Get the blanket from the end of my bed?”

“Sure thing, Kadan.” He shifts around to pull over the blanket for her, wraps her into it and she snuggles into it, curls up in his arms again. “You’re safe now,” he murmurs. “They’ll never touch you again.”

She closes her eyes and relaxes into Bull’s arms around her, and, for a while at least, she doesn’t need to feel anything else.


End file.
